Not long after being rescued from an abandon well at age 6 after a 36 hour ordeal, I was struck by lightning on a bright and sunny day in June in the middle of Washington Square Park in NYC. It was at that very moment that I had a special moment of clarity and decided to devote my life to the aboriginal people of the Australian outback. After a decade living amongst the natives I returned to the states. Already under scrutiny by the corrupt US government, I was immediately arrested when a search of my belongings uncovered a small amount of ancient herbs that induce hallucinations of giant chickens that hum the theme from the "A TEAM" while juggling 1993 vintage cell phones and painting abstracts with their feet.

The year in captivity is so dark that I never speak of the details. I was given the opportunity of freedom if I cooperated with the authorities and I jumped at the chance. I was sent into the dark world of foreign espionage in the governments secret war against the Swiss. Undercover as a highly compensated escort, I systematically deactivated some our countries most threatening Swiss agents. Living up to their promise I was set free, and with the cash I stashed away from my escort days I moved to SOCAL and settled down at what is now affectionately known as the Tranny trailer.

Today I live in bliss with my Princess, Lisa, and our crossdressing black chulabrador, Nina. I spend my days measuring the psi of public toilets and have adjusted, albeit somewhat, to normal life. But this peace is broken by the ever present fear of that phone call and my reenlistment into a world of sex and violence and even some bad things.

Until then i remain,

Sophie Sieber, Aggregator of Chaos

(and toilet pressure QA technician)